All those days I sorted through your things, labelled and ordered them, I did it with care and love for you in preparation to make your days better,we wanted to make you smile again and give you back some of the quality of life you had lost the day your body failed you,your legs gave way, your hands no longer did as they should, you were still that strong independent lady, a fantastic baker, literary expert, crossword doer, sewer, Mother and Grandmother, but your body no longer behaved as it should.
We had talked of all the places we would go,the m and s food we would treat ourselves to, the historical dramas we would watch, I was looking forward to it, we all were, the children wanted to read you their school books and pass you mixing bowls in order for you to bake again, something you were so good at,and loved. I remember when I first met you I felt I would never live up to your excellent domestic skills and Mothering knowledge but I learnt so much from you, I enjoyed our lengthy discussions, our shared love of nostalgia and Social history.
On Sunday I watched the new series of Call the midwife next to your empty chair, we thought you would be here we never imagined you would never sit here and watch it again.
I am so grateful and thankful to have known you and had you in my life for you gave me the best person, your son,the kindest man who always helped your whenever he could, he has your stubborn streak and perfectly defined Brow bone, you were his Mother and Father all in one and you were his greatest friend, you were his other best lady next to me and not a day went by where he did not think of you , or check to see if you were ok, commenting on events of that day, reminding one another that Have I got News for you was on at 9pm.
If only we could have had more time to have made a difference sooner, but I hope that you knew how much you meant to us and that we loved you so, and how we will miss you everyday, through all the little things and we hear your voice in our heads telling us to get on with life for our children, and to remember you with a knowing wink and a smile, and I will always ………………….with love.