Panic

I haven’t had a panic attack for a while, I have been coping pretty well just lately with my anxiety and stress, but On Saturday I had an attack after a stressful week, no more stressful than usual really but with underlying tones of fear,of bills to pay, things to do, pressure, the kids needing things, it all builds up and sometimes when I least expect it, all of a sudden, it can start,this week It seemed to be the aftermath the worst migraine and a feeling of exhaustion, a feeling that everything was a little bit harder and my mind wouldn’t switch off, when it happens I feel sick my body goes hot and I shake uncontrollably and my teeth chatter this goes on for an hour or two, I am often sick or suffer from terrible stomach problems or the runs during the attack ,my ears feel blocked and I struggle with my breathing,as it is happening I really feel as though I may die,that I am on a fairground ride that I can’t get off, it seems hard to believe but when it is happening it is the worst feeling and although, I tell myself this has happened many times before, it’s a panic attack, it’s not my health,I’m not going to die,  it’s my mind, it will end and I will be ok, It is horrid and I never would have thought that something in my mind can make me feel so ill, but it does, and since Saturday I have felt exhausted, sick,off my food, and at night I feel as though my ears and nose and head are completely blocked.

To cope with this I go to bed early,focus on my breathing, try to switch off, but it makes me feel so frustrated, I just want to be normal me again, the me that yes is a bit stressy but that doesn’t have these attacks, that doesn’t need medication to cope daily, and I wonder am I always going to be like this? I know mental health effects so many people, and most we don’t even know about, I know people suffer far more than me too, I am not alone, and it does help to know that, and its why I write about it because maybe I can help someone reading this too, and with that I must go to bed, switch off, and sleep and hope that I will have a positive happy week, I’ve got lots to look forward to, my friends coming tomorrow for a candle party, my Dad coming on Thursday, and I will try and focus on that, nightnight and sweet dreams xxx

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