Anxiety, exhaustion, the uphill struggle

I am a happy jolly confident lady a lot of the time with energy and the drive to do lots,see lots of friends,to volunteer for things , but underneath I am battling with anxiety panic attacks and insecurities, I know that lots of people suffer too and as women often we all have down days often associated with hormones and menstrual cycle, the exhaustion and stresses of being busy mums, busy lives. Sometimes things just get too much, even the simplest of things become overwhelming, and some days I just want to curl up and not have to do anything, not even speak, to just ignore the world.

However I can’t really do this ,I have to be a mum, pick up the kids from school,make tea, clean the house, it can’t be ignored but it can be put off just for a while, as I write this still in my dressing gown, the breakfast pots still on the table the unswept crumbs on the floor, the endless amounts of washing by the washing machine, the what am I going to cook for tea? It’s hard and some days harder than others today is one of those days, I am tired, the aftermath of a blinding migraine yesterday, but with that comes frustration and guilt that doesn’t go away I know I have to get things done, but there’s so much, that I don’t know where to start, and then I have the constant worries of bills that need to be paid, things that we need to buy, It is an uphill struggle and I will make it up there eventually and on good days I can run up there other days like today it’s more of a crawl, but it’s ok I have to just take each day as it comes and try not to feel bad about it.

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