My M um is the loveliest thing. I remember as a child how she smelt of beautiful anais anais perfume as I cuddled into her, I remember her long skirts that I would hide under,the cups of tea I had in the mornings in Mummy’s bed,and as I grew the special things we did together,the cinema trips,the meals out,shopping.I had always been a bit of a Daddy’s girl but the times I spent with my Mum I look back on with such fondness, as I need them again now more than ever as a grown woman with three children of my own though I didn’t realise until I had my first child just how much.
Becoming a mum myself is all I had ever really wanted I had always loved children from a very young age playing with my baby dolls,then helping at my mums nursery school and working with children as a playworker.I thought I was a natural, children loved me, I loved them and I enjoyed engaging with them through play and art. I really thought having my own children with be just as easy,how wrong I was . Nothing can prepare you for how difficult being a mum for the first time can be, how lonely you feel even with a loving husband we tried our best but we had no support nearby , mum lives far away and it was exhausting and we had little time together and not much money my mum came as often as she could,and still does and she and my stepfather and my Dad and my mother in law are fantastic but I just wish my mum could live nearby just knowing that she was near if I need her,to go out together easily for the children to see her as often as they want.,as right now in my life I need my mum most of all.I know this isnt possible and that I am grown up and standing on my own two feet as it were,but sometimes lifes too hard too stressful and too exhausting to stand on my own two feet and I need those hugs ,the skirt to hide in,the comfort of my mum,but for now I cherish the times she is here like this half term holiday where we had some wonderful time together,shopping having food out sand I was wonderful to see the children baking with their Grandma .As sometimes us Mummies need their Mummies still.